Sicko: Alli “treatment effects” are almost as fun as LOLCATS

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

In Sicko, Moore interviewed a doctor in London who described how doctors are paid on results. In other words, the more people he can get to stay healthy (join quit-smoking programs, etc), the better he is paid.

In the USA, doctors get paid by treating the sick and are not rewarded (monetarily) by making sure we are well.

So, perhaps doctors and drug companies profit by keeping us sick.

Let’s tie that in with the weight-loss drug Alli and its “treatment effects.”

alli

You know, this is telling you, straight out, you’re going to have uncontrollable, spraying shits in your pants that will resemble the oil on the top of a pizza. Whoa, is that the real treatment? To get people to be so grossed out by what they are putting in their bodies they will stop pigging out on greasy food? Is this really about aversion therapy, or is that just a nice “treatment effect”?

If you feel the slightest bit gassy, “the bathroom is really the best place to go.” Because, again, you’re about to drop a deuce in your Dockers.

Wear dark pants to work. Bring a couple changes to work. Maybe a butt plug, while you’re at it.

I highlighted the last point because it seemed like such a common-sense thing to say, it was like the equivalent of a sewer worker gently daubing a bit of marinara sauce from his moustache while being covered in “oily spotting”.

The lesson of the day is Quit eating like a pig and get some fucking exercise, will ya?

PS–This drug was an OTC item in Australia until they decided to pull it back and regulate it for prescription-only.

49 Responses to “Sicko: Alli “treatment effects” are almost as fun as LOLCATS”

  1. Jason Says:

    I just about had a “treatment effect” reading this post.

    It would be funny to add a clip of “Along Came Polly” where they were in the art gallery and Ben Stiller’s friend “Sharted” or create some mock advertisement from that clip.

    Jason

  2. ian Says:

    Oh man, after I first heard about the treatment effects, some friends and myself became determined to take Alli for experimentation purposes. The final goal being a hilarious article to publish accounting our experiences with it.

    Well, we rarely eat greasy stuff in general. The staple of my diet is baked fish, really. Anyways, after two weeks of taking Alli and not seeing any results, I went for broke.

    We went to this awesome little pizza joint in San Francisco called “Little Star”. Nice actual pie crust, deep dish style. A nice little thing to appreciate on infrequent occasion.

    Anyways, today actually, I enjoyed the first treatment effect.

    If you have poor eating habbits, this stuff will certainly adjust that shit, right quick. Literally.

  3. ash Says:

    omg i thought this was hilarious when i read it….i have been takin alli for about 3 days now…the first 2 nothing really happened…i was like well this is money wasted….i woke up today to go to my gmas for a christmas party and crapped all over myself in the process…im finding it harder and harder to control myself and am constantly running to the bathroom…in the book they made it sound like there was nothing to it…well lemme tell u…when somethings floatin in ur toilet and your not used to seeing it…..that makes you rethink this diet stuff….lol i agree with the exercising part….oh my thats just funny

  4. JP Says:

    It tells you only eat like 15grams or so of fat. honestly after using it for 10 months I lost 27 pounds without having to workout (I have no time with 2 jobs and school). The only time I ever had a treatment effect was at xmas time when i went well over the 15 grams of fat. It was horrible and gross, but for one day of pigging out and seeing all that nasty-ness in the toliet, I sure did save myself a hell of alot of calories from fat and to be honest for one day of “treatment effect” I rather see that nasty oil in the toliet then have my body absorb it… oh and my cholestoral is amazing complared to 10 months ago!

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